Citati Dr. House - Occam's Razor

House: "No, there is not a thin line between love and hate. There is, in fact, a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every twenty feet between love and hate."



House: "What would you prefer - a doctor who holds your hand while you die or one who ignores you while you get better? I suppose it would particularly suck to have a doctor who ignores you while you die."

Wilson: "That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality."
House: "Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain."

House: "Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me "Greg". I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning."
Cuddy: "Short, sweet, grab a file."
House: "This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board ... certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor currently employed at this hospital who is forced to be here against his will.
That is true, isn't it? (to Cuddy)
But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any! And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem ... but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me? "

Wilson: "Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth."
House: "And triteness kicks us in the nads."
Wilson: "So true..."

Cameron: "Sex could kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, and secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent, it's ugly and it's messy, and if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun, the human race would have died out eons ago."

Cameron: "Men should grow up."
House: "Yeah, and dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not going to happen."

Foreman: "Occam's razor. The simplest explanation is always the best."
House: "And you think one is simpler than two?"
Cameron: "I'm pretty sure it is, yeah."
House: "Baby shows up. Chase tells you that two people exchange fluids to create this being. I tell you that one stork dropped the little tyke off in a diaper. Are you going to go with the two or the one?"
Foreman: "I think your argument is specious."
House: "I think your tie is ugly."

House: "Why is one simpler than two? It's lower, it's lonelier, but is it simpler? Each one of these conditions is about a thousand to one shot; that means that any two of them happening at the same time is a million to one shot, Chase says the cardiac infection is a ten million to one shot which makes my idea ten times better than yours. [pause. Foreman looks defeated] Get a calculator run the numbers."
Chase: "We'll run the tests."

Tattooed Walk-in Patient: "I should go."
House: "You think it's going to come out on its own? [the patient stops] Are we talking bigger than a bread basket? Because, actually, it will come out on its own, which for small stuff is no problem - it's wrapped up in a nice soft package and plop. Big stuff - you're going to rip something, which, speaking medically, is when the fun stops."
Tattooed Walk-in Patient: "How did you--"
House: "You've been here half an hour and you haven't sat down, that tells me its location. You haven't told me what it is, that tells me it's humiliating. You have a little birdy carved under your arm, and that tells me you have a high tolerance for humiliation, so I'm figuring it's not hemorrhoids. I've been a doctor twenty years. You're not going to surprise me."
Tattooed Walk-in Patient: "It's an MP3 player."
House: "Hmm. Is it... is it because of the size, or the shape... or is it the pounding bass line?"
Tattooed Walk-in Patient: "What are we going to do?"
House: "I'm going to wait."
Tattooed Walk-in Patient: "For what?!"
[Scene change: House leaving the walk-in clinic]
House: "Okay. It's 3 o'clock, I'm off. Could you tell Dr. Cuddy there's a patient in exam room 2 that needs her attention? And the RIAA wants her to check for illegal downloads."

Cameron: "Brandon's not ready for surgery."
House: "OK, let's leave it a couple of weeks. He should be feeling better by then. Oh wait, which way does time go?"

Chase: "We should look into the girlfriend's theory... She thinks she rode him to death."
Foreman: "What'd you tell her?"
Chase: "Well, I told her twenty-two year old men don't die of sex!"
Cameron: "What'd you ask her?"
Chase: "What do you mean?"
Cameron: "I mean I hope you got some specifics on exactly what's going on. This girl thinks it could kill you... it's worth knowing about."
Chase: "...Have you ever taken a life?"